Hi there.. Amber here.. Today, I want to write something I am proud of and for it to be impactful to anyone who reads it! Unveiling a positive message without hiding the difficult parts!! 
I am coming at you from Salina, Ks… in the middle (another word for middle is halfway😉) Quite literally I am in the middle of the U.S, in Kansas and I reside in Salina which is the middle of Kansas. When I decided to start a blog about a year ago I called my lil’ sis> Nikki, who is the biggest fashionista I know.. always in the now and know .. to ask her what she thought would be a good name for my blog. I proceeded to tell her I liked something along the lines of ‘In the middle’.. After all, I am a very middle of the road kinda girl. We came up with an alternate name for ‘In the Middle’ and that’s how my blog> ‘Halfway there’ was born!

This whole Coronavirus pandemic/Covid19 has unfolded over the past couple of weeks and at first I wasn’t going to write or touch on it at all. The more I have thought about it I decided I wanted to write about some of the other most challenging things I’ve overcome and how I managed during adversity. We must remind ourselves that we have overcome hard things before and we should bring the best version of ourselves in every situation!
I reminded myself that the whole reason I started vlogging/blogging was because my mom> Theresa thought I wasn’t bringing anything good to this world through my social media because everything I posted on my Facebook was looking too perfect/candy coated. Well.. to be quite honest that is how it may be interpreted… That’s what we’re supposed to do on social media.. show off the good parts.. right?!!!

I not only have grown up being taught that if I didn’t have anything nice to say… I shouldn’t say it at all.. and that’s how I have lived my life. I think it’s fair to say we are all greatly influenced by our moms. My situation is complex.. I would say I am influenced, intrigued, and interested in my mom’s opinion. I decided… if I don’t tell my truth.. who will? Also, I’ve learned the way to earn respect and get through to others is through vulnerability and sharing similarities and differences!

So if I can keep you interested.. PLEASE reach out and let me know what you want me to share more about! I will gladly respond, elaborate and explain the best way I know how.. in my upcoming posts!

Without further ado .. I am going to write about some experiences that stand out to me and were hard, yet have made me who I am today… this soft-hearted, strong-willed girl- I am proud of! 💪♥️ 💥💯

I am the oldest of four kids. I grew up  feeling second best to my little sister> Nikki, who is my only sister, closest to me in age. I adore her and always have! My feeling of inadequacy in comparison to her, very well may have been some of my own insecurities coming through. I finally, in the last few years have been able to share these feelings with my mom and my sis… to use their names together in a sentence seems like such a dare at this stage of life. Mostly because there has been great strain at different times in all three of my siblings and I’s relationships with my mom. I may get in a weird spot even putting this out into the world. What I do know .. the older and more mature I get the more I realize there is usually a nice way to say most everything. I have worked with a couple of talk therapists in the last couple of years and it’s been life changing!

I have been diagnosed with Overly Compulsive Personality Disorder/OCPD and being a Highly Sensitive person. It is all coming together for me.. some of my greatest weaknesses are also my greatest strengths! 
I believe I am in a good position and overcoming the challenging parts of these personality traits and even understanding why I am wired the way I am. It is just now beginning to be underunderstood in the medical world.. OCPD is derived from a fear. I believe that it is possibly from a fear of not feeling as though I had control of my life.. due to some trauma I’ve experienced. What I understand now… control is an illusion, mostly. 

That is where my entry today is going.. I definitely can’t claim to be perfect or have my life all together. Although, I truly believe my God given talent/gift is CeLeBrAtInG everyday life, helping to soften touchy situations and assisting others in living their best lives. 

I hadn’t talked to my mom as regularly for a while because she’s been very upset with my husband> John for the past year.. which has spilled over into my mom and I’s relationship. She got upset with him because in May of 2019 (when our middle son was about to graduate from high school) she had been messaging me some texts stating she didn’t want to attend his graduation. I am sure it was in fear of running into my dad, whom she was married to for twenty three years. Anyhoo, I shared that with my husband> John and he expressed to her that if there was going to be an uproar that she and her husband> Joe maybe shouldn’t come. Long story.. short .. they didn’t come. 

I did go to Ford, Ks (where my mom resides) with my brothers this past Christmas. She and I stopped communicating again for the past few months. She has felt hurt or insulted that our oldest two sons attended treatment facilities right after this Christmas and she wasn’t asked to participate. Honestly, my husband I weren’t asked to participate much.. it’s more of the patients working inwardly!

My mom lives by the motto “Work Hard.. Party Hard” I think it’s safe to say I live by that motto too… except my immidiate family has recently decided to do it without any alcohol or other substances to induce it.
 My husband and I have been sober since this past November. No question.. these past four months have been the most challenging and the most rewarding! We managed to get through the holidays.. Then our youngest son> Isaac (who’s a state wrestler) sustained a severe knee injury while wrestling and had to have extensive surgery in January. Our oldest two sons went into two different treatment facilities in January (almost three hundred miles apart) .. graduated treatment within the month and have reentered the work-school flow.. a.k.a… real world. Now, we are in the heart of the coronavirus pandemic.
 At one time years ago.. my husband/business partner and I were facing bankruptcy after a business hardship and our attorney said , “You think you are in the worst situation in your life when you’re living it, until the next worst thing comes.” Those are hard words to ingest.. but they are so true! Often times the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!  

I used to really look forward to having a couple drinks at a time.. to take off the edge at the end of the day, when life was feeling hard. Now, I have found some really good placebos to take the edge off. My top two are Vanilla Dry drinks and O’Doul’s!

I would say there are many differences with all addicts/addictions. Nonetheless, these devices impact our lives, as well as, the people closest to us.

The challenge for me showed most when I decided to stop drinking. A couple years prior I made the conscious decision to stop taking prescription weight loss medicine. I do believe I am still fun and realize I can still have fun without any dependency on substances. Addiction is interconnected on so many levels. I by no means am pointing a finger at anyone who engages in self medicating. I am continuously working through my own life experiences.

I knew I had to lead by example if I wanted to have a positive influence on our adult children! We are still working through all of these challenges as a family! I have witnessed and learned enough first hand to know I wanted different for our family and our kids. For me .. any choices I have made since having kids of my own has been influenced by how it will affect them!! 
With all this talk of the coronavirus, I finally decided to pick up the phone and call my mom. She didn’t answer her phone, so I called her husband’s number. I asked Joe if she was around. When she got on the phone she struck up a conversation like we had never left off. She and John also called it truths during this recent phone visit!

I guess the point of me sharing this is that in time of great strain and despair, I am sure it is normal for all of us to think about relationships and where we stand. Even a phone call can be healing.. even a conversation that ends up where you have to bite your tongue because you differ on more than you agree. I would say it is life changing in the way that you can rest assured ..you don’t have to have any regrets for trying. I always say~ do whatever you can live with!
I used to be embarrassed to share that I consider myself somewhat religious.. a cradle Catholic, faith-filled MOM! Now, I find it to be my best quality in connecting with others.. even if I am completely different from someone my lines cross with.. I can find some common ground. 

When I am frustrated with my relationship with my mom.. I remind myself that what I consider some of my greatest qualities also embody her. I consider myself artsy, a humanitarian, who loves all types of people and that is how I would describe the best parts about my mom. I believe she often says different than of what she means. I am not sure she even realizes. She says things like.. “I was a good mom.”  I think what she means is she did the best she could. I agree she did the best she could.. especially given the circumstances. Now that I am a mom of adult children a lot comes tenfold. Understanding the complexity of personalities and beliefs. Above all I know a mother’s love for her child is the most powerful!!

I can say I am a very independent, strong, nonjudgmental person because of my upbringing. I remember having mostly what I needed.. even if I desired more. I recall it getting easier the older I got. I learned very early on to work hard for what I want!

My parents were teenagers when they had me.. my mom was sixteen when she gave birth to me. My grandparents did play a big role in my early childhood years. Even though there were joyful moments.. there were lots of moments of me questioning- how will we get through this?! 
One of the hardest times of my childhood was when my dad was in an explosion while working in the oil fields. He ended up being in a burn unit in Lincoln, NE for a year. I only remember being able to see him one time during that year. I have come to the conclusion that I have blocked out a lot of the hard parts of growing up. Maybe that’s my way of dealing with trauma… maybe it’s due to memory loss from when I was in a car accident as a teenager. Either way I know that at this stage of life (and always) it is best to remember the good parts. it helps us to get through!

I remember lots of the good in my life through taking pictures! In Jr. High.. (before I had been in a car wreck).. I lost a house to a housefire that was determined to have started because of high winds… We lost any tangible pictures we did have.

I didn’t grow up having a lot of pictures. I would say it was because they were costly to have developed and technology such as cameras on our phones didn’t exist. 
I guess what I am getting at is ..I take A LOT of pictures. And through hardship in my life I have found the greatest rewards! A reward is finding the silver lining in difficult times.

As I type right now.. a majority of America is in lock down and self quarantining. My husband and I are small business owners of a hair salon, Thiessen-Elise Salon.. named after our middle names:) At this point, we have made the decision to continue operating our salon until otherwise mandated by our local government and Health Dept.. We have lots of mouths to feed, as I often say. It hasn’t been any easy decision. Although, we have never laid down easy.. no matter what obstacles are put in front of us. I attribute that to our success thus far in life. I am believing in the power of prayer!!

Even as a small town girl from western Kansas.. I am determined to impact this world for the better!

Which has lead me to taking Thursdays to work on writing for my blog. I am away from my normal routine of heading to our salon to assist people with their hair needs, working as a hairdresser.

Before I close this entry I want to give a bit more about me.. in an effort to get some feedback on what to blog/blog about next!!

I worked with the Small Business Association and opened my first salon in my hometown, LaCrosse, Ks .. right out of cosmetology school, after highschool. I had a shop there for five and a half years. My husband> John was offered and obtained Business credentials at one of his first management jobs  with a franchised furniture store. He went on to manage a few different retail stores. He and I have been in business together for over twelve years, offering hair services here in Salina, where we have raised our kiddos. We were nominated by our business consultant and chosen as an Emerging Businesses of the year in 2012, one of twelve awarded in Topeka at our state capitol.. out of several hundred nominees!

We for sure plan to stay here until our youngest daughter> Aleah and son> Ike get through high school. Aleah is a sophomore and Ike’s a junior. Our oldest son Keith> is a sophomore at Bethany College. Our middle son> Landon is getting ready to start Barber school, as soon as the stay-at-home order, due to coronavirus is lifted for Wichita.. where he’ll be attending Paul Mitchel Barber School.

We have overcome lots of obstacles in the years leading up to and the time we’ve lived in Salina. First and foremost was selling our large home in our hometown in order to move. We had it on the market for over two years in the little town where a majority of people are retired and don’t need the size of home we had. (we thought we were going to raise our kids there) The second large obstacle was opening our salon against all odds. In the midst of a recession while our working capital was quickly being depleted, taking several months longer to get opened than projected.

After a couple years of being open in downtown Salina we experienced a business harddhip. It was a new development where we opened and signage was to be provided. After approaching our landlord to get the signage as promised and it not happening, we sought legal advice from an attorney. We ended up locked out of our business and it was later deemed theft. There are so many more details to that story. The biggest and most important parts are that we are stronger from it and reopened within four months of this travesty! I can proudly and without a wavering doubt say I am glad we relocated and raised our kids here in Salina! We have met some of the best people we know here! I am proud to be from Kansas and know a big part of my heart will always be here. 

No matter what we face in life.. it is in adversity, WE FIND OUR STRENGTHS!

We were teen parents. We fostered and adopted when we were in our twenties.. in and out of court till the older two girls> Haley and Allison aged out of the system. Kept battling until our youngest daughter’s birth giver (one of my first cousins) parental rights were terminated.. took five years in and out of court! 

We’ve experienced loss, challenges, hardships of all types. We have also experienced JOY, success, happiness .. even in the common day to day! I truly believe this is the only way to live a fulfilled life.

Don’t forget..

1) We MUST EMBRACE WHAT WE LOVE!🖤

2) We can only work towards controlling our own thoughts and actions!

3) Believing the best is yet to come (and is just around the corner) is the BEST approach to life!

Yours in Style, Amber

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