Well.. it is 6:04pm on Friday May 1st, 2020.. I had been writing every Thursday and then last week I officially lost track of what day it was during our stay-at-home order because of Covid-19! I am ambitious and yet I am trying to LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST during this time at home!.. A standard of grace, not perfection! Unfortunately.. I have seen some of my symptoms from Overly Compulsive Personality Disorder come through recently! I refuse to let this personality trait/OCPD define me!

My husband, John and I are both hairdressers, co-owners of our salon, Thiessen-Elise Salon and have been mandated to stay home. This week was similar to last, losing track of what day it is! Especially with the celebration of our daughter, Aleah’s sixteenth birthday… oh, and not to mention my dog, Oscar’s fourth bday. He’s like a kid and a bestie to me! The days zipped by and late on Thursday evening I realized it was in fact Thursday, not Wednesday.. oops!! So here I come at you on this Friday evening! 

The days and weeks have seemed to go fast while we are at home! Mostly because we are finishing up some home projects while we are staying in. We’ve redone landscaping and painted the trim on the exterior of our home.. it’s a pretty big home and we weren’t sure we could accomplish painting the upper level ourselves! We ended up making it happen, with the help of my kid bro. and his buddy, who are not afraid of heights! We lost track of the exact amount of hours.. I do know it was fifteen consecutive days of painting!! We are over-the-top thankful, happy, proud.

We also redid a hallway bathroom upstairs. Initially we were just going to redo the shower surround… ended up with new countertops, sinks, tile surround, flooring, and painted cabinets. We pulled four.. fifteen hour days to make it happen pretty quick!! 

While on the phone with my lil’ sis today.. I told her I had been dragging my feet to write for my blog. Her response was that she had just read an article that said we should give ourselves grace during stressful times!! Wow, I needed to hear that and I am sure she did too… that’s why she shared with me. She and her husband are go-getters too. Also, in the beauty industry. We all need to take care of ourselves mentally, physically and spiritually!!

Governor Kelly, our Ks governor has put an additional stay-at-home order for people in our industry! My husband and I have been overzealous about working on projects… quite honestly working harder than normal. We often value ourselves through hard work. I have definitely learned over the years.. and have truly realized the importance of balance. I feel like I’ve gotten better at it. As I take a step back today.. I am remembering to enjoy the fruits of our labor! Work to live.. not live to work!

Today it is important for me to remember that each day is a gift! That being said.. I am a goal-getter, who wants to enjoy the ride.. both figuratively and literally! I called our insurance company and increased our insurance coverage on my husband’s motorcycle today! Its a Honda Goldwing that he and his buddy have completely transformed into a Café Racer! It’s super cool and I really think he was motivated to rebuild it because I doubted that he could make it happen.😉 

I told him I want to take it on a long cruise to a nearby lake tomorrow! We gotta take a day away from our homestead. It isn’t our nature to sit much.. so I want to force ourselves to take a day to ‘stop and smell the roses!’ 

Since I can remember I have struggled with Overly Compulsive Personality Disorder. I just had a true diagnosis in the last few years. For me.. realizing it has been a HUGE step in the right direction of improvement.

A lot of the things I continuously would do (thinking I was helping my family) have ended up being counterproductive!! This has been a hard realization for me!
For instance, waking our teenaged kids up.. instead of an alarm, or being too demanding in the morning and starting their day off shitty, when I actually was trying to be helpful. These are just a couple of examples of the challenges that OCPD has presented in my life.

OCPD symptoms include: 

•perfectionism to the point that it impairs the ability to finish tasks

•stiff, formal, or rigid mannerisms

•being extremely frugal with money 

•an overwhelming need to be punctual

•extreme attention to detail

•excessive devotion to work at the expense of family or social relationships

•hoarding worn or useless items

•an inability to share of delegate work because of fear it won’t be done right

•a fixation with lists

•a rigid adherence to rules or regulations
an overwhelming need for order

•a sense of righteousness about the way things should be done

•a rigid adherence to moral or ethical codes

OCPD is diagnosed when symptoms impair you ability to function and interact with others.

The exact cause of OCPD is unknown. Like many aspects of OCPD.. the causes have yet to be determined. OCPD may be caused by a combination of genetics and childhood experiences. in some case studies, adults can remember experiencing OCPD from a very early age. This is definitely the case for me!

The symptoms for OCPD will look a bit different for everyone. For me a couple of these things are the exact opposite of how they are listed.. not sure why. It is just now being understood that OCPD is derived from a fear. In my case I think it is a fear of not having something I need… growing up in hard financial circumstances, losing a home to a house fire a kid, and a robbery that took place at our business.. all seem to exacerbate the symptoms for me! It can also be a combination of childhood experiences and/or genetics.

It is said that OCPD is found in more women than men. About 2 to 7% of people have it, making it the most prevalent personality disorder. About 1 in 100 people have it. It is often goes undiagnosed because most individuals believe it’s just “the right way” to live. It also can be overcome around forty years of age.. when there is realization and effort to change. I am thirty-eight and have seen a huge improvement in myself. Cognitive Behavior therapy has been the best thing that’s happened to me! I am forever grateful that during a down time in my life I sought counsel and it all unfolded for me. Reaching our lowest point can teach us lessons we might not have learned otherwise!! 

OCPD and OCD are often confused! OCD/Overly Compulsive Disorder is defined as the presence of true obsessions and/or compulsions. Conversely with OCPD .. the behaviors are not directed by thoughts you are unable to control or irrational behaviors you repeat over and over again, often with no apparent aim… often known as rituals.

OCPD is a personality disorder defined by strict adherence to orderliness and control over one’s environment at the expense of flexibility and the openness to new experiences. 

I truly believe that wanting the best for my family~ is how my diagnosis came about. This topic is a lot to ingest.. although, if I can make the difference in one persons life by writing about it.. It is worth it to me!! I would love to hear from anyone that relates!! Let’s hold ourselves to a standard of grace.. not perfection!

Yours in Style, Amber