Being thankful doesn’t mean there aren’t hard parts to your story! Being thankful helps us to embrace every part of our journey!

I took this picture last night after having a good cry, after a phone visit my husband, John and I had with our oldest son, Keith. I also had just put together this adorable table of fall decor on our front porch. My mom sent me home with these cool pots and lil’ pumpkins she had painted when we recently visited her. I was inspired to make a Hobby Lobby run and this is my finished product!  What better than a cute sign that spells out THANKFUL to complete my fall decor?!

Keith has struggled with anxiety and depression since he was a young boy! We have found ourselves wondering if it could stem from when he had head trauma when he was little. He fell several stories onto pavement, while he had gone with family to visit an aunt at her apartment complex. We were told he had a concussion.. he had a few abrasions and stitches, other than that he seemed to be okay. Nonetheless, I believe it’s normal to question or want to find a reason. It could be lots of things..head trauma, hereditary, his chemistry makeup, or a combination of these things.

At this time.. I think the circumstances of this pandemic and at college are hard for Keith. He would much rather be going to class in person and attending study groups!! We have tried to express what we see as the “ups” in the whole situation. Hoping it will help change his perspective!

I know my lines have crossed with certain people as a door to accepting, working through and knowing that we can only do what we can! Thank you to all of those individuals!! It doesn’t mean I will ever give up trying to improve the quality of life for our family!

In a phone visit earlier this week with my dear friend, Mary B. (who lost her own son to suicide when he was just nineteen) she explained to me that it is good to show our kids emotion and that we can’t tip toe around how we are impacted by our kids experiences. They need to know! We can tell them we are hurting because they are hurting and we can offer some tough love. We as parents have pretty good intuition. If you think a certain approach is best, then try it! I truly value her opinion as she has had so many life experiences! Hearing her say that made me realize she was right! She has a lot of wisdom and was called to counsel other mothers who lost children to suicide. I do believe her words are important to parents who are currently going through challenging times with their kids. We need to validate each other’s feelings, set goals and work towards them! We aren’t completely helpless, even when we sometimes feel that way! If nothing more .. listen! Express gratitude for their willingness to share! Most of all.. don’t be scared to seek the assistance of professionals!! If you end up in the care of someone who isn’t the right fit, schedule with someone else! Referrals can do wonders in any endeavors!

I have so many people in my life that have shared their own struggles with addiction and mental health. I know at least a handful of people that have come back to me to share they were influenced to seek some type of therapy! For that I am grateful! I feel it is my life’s mission to let others know they are not alone! And that seeking treatment and remaining kind does not mean weakness!!

I don’t feel like I cry that easily at this stage of life. Well.. at least not in front of others! I usually keep it bottled up and then my dear, sweet husband sees that side! I do think sometimes it’s necessary to let it out!

I haven’t shared much about our oldest son because he is more introverted. He is also very intellectual, intelligent, handsome and kind! My hope is when he reads this entry he will be influenced to see more beauty in the world and his life, to be on the road to drown out the hard parts that cause him to be indifferent!

Our kids stories become big parts of our stories! I want to believe that the words in my entry today come across in a manner that allow hope, understanding, and value to those that read it!

I am definitely a religious person.. the power of prayer is often what gets me through! I also believe it helps those in my network! I pray for those that aren’t believers! I hope everyone can find faith in a higher power and see the strength it can have in their lives.

I do believe I AM one of the most talented people I know ..when it comes to seeing the best in hard circumstances!! I am often the voice for the underdog.

I think in some ways our kids felt like the underdog while attending Catholic school. Hell.. I felt like an underdog. I know this caused some hard feelings for our kids, who we had in Catholic school for eight years. They witnessed things that they associated with the Catholic faith and went on to say, “if this is what being Catholic is.. I am not!” I have assured them that people that hurt others are usually feeling hurt or insecure themselves! Those that see themselves as better than others have their own issues to deal with!

At this point I realize, me feeling like an underdog, was nothing more than my own insecurities getting the best of me and most likely impacting our kids! I have had some amazing people from that chapter if our life reach out about all kinds of things since our kids attended school there. I still attend church regularly at St. Mary’s and our kids have continued to receive their sacraments! I know that we were impacted by the financial strain of having four kids in a private school (we wanted them to grow up in a small school with small town values, like us), we opened during a recession and had some indescribable challenging times at our first business location in Salina. While presenting some of the ugliest parts of  our story.. THESE WERE ALSO SOME OF THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES, now looking back. I do believe our kids have some really fond memories at St. Mary’s and Sacred Heart! One of those fond memories is Sister Pauline!!

We made it, we came out stronger on the other side. Our kids ended up transitioning to public school and getting a head start on college courses, just as they were all starting to drive. Thank God, cause I don’t know how we would have got them in vehicles if we were still paying tuition. They all have great work ethic and have helped pay for vehicle expenses, etc. We realized Salina is a big little town. We’ve all personally grown exponentially!

I know that not starting out with fancy things .. makes you appreciate them more when you get there!! I grew up Catholic .. also known as, cradle Catholic on my mom’s side… mostly with my Granny Corz!❤️ Our family has tried other churches and after my Granny Corz fell ill, I was drawn back to the Catholic Church! I feel closer to her when I attend.

What I am getting at is~ there are dark, hard, ugly woes in every corner of the world! It is our job as humans to lead by example, do what we can. I would go one step further to say we must find, create and be thankful for our life experiences. It isn’t someone else’s job to make us HaPpY! We are all different! What makes one happy may not make another!

I feel compelled to share that one of my brothers attended some sessions with a therapist I recommended. While I was at a session the therapist said, “You would never know you and your brother grew up in the same household, your views on how things happened are so very different from his!” Honestly, I believe our interpretation of how things are, has more to do with our own mental state than anything! I will say it again, “Our interpretation of how things are, has more to do with our own mental state than anything!”

Life is a balancing act. I live by the motto, “Do what you can live with.” At this stage I am wondering if I have told our four adult/soon-to-be adult kids enough that I believe in them and their capabilities!

I do believe we have modeled adaptability, acceptance, seeking happiness, and believing the best is yet to come!.. along with hard work, challenge and growth!

Starting out as a teen parents has made my husband and I feel inferior to other parents abilities at times. I now realize we may have been a bit hard on ourselves and our kids during their younger years because we expected them to be “good” kids. As parents we often feel that our kids behaviors are our responsibility. It is our job to teach them, set healthy boundaries, and lead by example! I do believe our kids are well mannered! I just want them to know ..that in our effort to have “good” kids ..our intentions were never to break their spirit.

I know now that we cannot necessarily control, change or influence our kids thoughts, feelings, actions! It is up to each of us as individuals to handle our lives.

My husband told Keith that we are trying to give him the tools to improve his health and life. We provide insurance, self-help material, and goal setting. I just hope he realizes we believe in his abilities and want the best life for him! We are grateful for our experiences  this far. We will remain thankful for the challenges as parents, knowing it’s earning us more faith and wisdom!

There is a fine line in parenting adult children. I know we had to learn a lot of things the hard way. It’s hard for me to think that is the best way. Although, I do know the best views are after the hardest climbs!

BE THANKFUL!! ❤️

Stay Rosy, Amber