As I sit on the swing on our back patio (my favorite place to be) with my doggie, Oscar on this beautiful afternoon~ listening to the birdies chirping and watching our other doggies sunbathing.. I think about how to make peace with my past!!

Making peace with my past has always been something I thought I was good at! I especially thought I was good at making peace with other peoples pasts! Then, some hard-learned information came at me like a ton of bricks! Now, here it is looming in the background .. such as, what if, why, how?! I am not perfect and I know none of us are. Parenting is one of the most rewarding and challenging jobs ever put in front of us! I wish I could have known more and handled myself differently in some situations.

I also know the narrative I have told myself my whole life is, that my parents have done the best they could with what resources they had! I wholeheartedly believe that! Why wouldn’t I readily be able to believe and see that in my own parenting?! I am working on it!!

Perfectionism is a persona! We all have obstacles put in front of us, whether we share them or not is up to us! I am doing my best to share the hard parts of my journey to let others know they aren’t alone!

I currently am getting in some additional talk therapy sessions with our therapist, Bruce! He always has the best analogies! He recently described all the struggles we go through as stuff crammed in a closet. Talk therapy gives us an opportunity to organize the hard stuff that’s crammed in our closet! It helps us organize it, label it and be ready to handle it.. if/when we need to!! I love this description! I am forever reorganizing! I guess I feel like I have been given an abundance of challenges because I am capable of working through them! I am definitely human and have felt a bit worn down recently! I am grateful that as I am closing in on forty years old, I have finally realized the importance and know-how of self care for myself. Self care looks different for everyone! For me~ it is more rest and think time, sticking with a regimen, meditation and moderation!!

In reflecting, the message I want to get across today is .. WE DO WHAT WE DO, BASED ON WHAT WE KNOW AT THE GIVEN TIME!! ..So don’t beat yourself up for things you can’t change!

We are holding the pen to our own stories! How we react and what we believe is what we become! Learn more, become more and do your best!

We shouldn’t settle or accept things that aren’t right! We can make a list of pros and cons to different things we are working through and make our best decision and a plan of action to change for the better! We have to do our best to make informed decisions and believe that what happens is part of the intended journey, that’s partly paved by someone bigger than ourselves! The good Lord has a plan! Believe in it!!

Breathe in… breathe out! Listen to the birds chirping, squirrel babbling, doggies barking, cars zooming afar, wind chimes chiming.. feel the breeze and the rays of sun! Be in the now! Do your best with the resources you have presently! Never give up.. for everything there is a reason!!

Stay Rosy, Amber 💕🤟

#Halfwaytoanywhereyouputyourmindto #Halfwaythere