It’s been a long while since I’ve had a good cry. Tonight it happened. Just a bit ago I rode home with my husband because I felt too tired to drive my own vehicle home.. after a little necessary shopping and a nice dinner. A conversation about the possibility of ever weaning off of Zoloft (which has made the last year much better for me in many ways!) came up, amongst some other touchy topics. The tears flowed. It’s been quite a long while since I’ve had this kind of flood of emotions!

Then, it came over me that.. today I had an emotional connection with one of my clients that is greater than most! She just went through losing her son to addiction. She’s a warrior! I love how she’s still living life in a kind, outgoing and zestful manner! She’s truly been through more hard things than I think a person should ever have to endure! Yet, she brings the best version of herself and keeps pressing forward.

I relate with her! Addiction, mental health, being a teen mom, along with some other insecurities are all parts of my story too. As we continued to visit, we both agreed that we didn’t want others to feel sorry for us. The real outcome that is desired when telling a challenging part of our journey is that the person taking it in .. interprets it the way that you mean for them to!!

I am honestly working through some hard parts of my own story. I truly have felt that I lost my voice to talk or vlog, after learning one of our sons was sexually abused as a child, by someone we honestly trusted.. causing me to feel like, “who the hell am I to give advice?” Well.. I can say that writing has been and continues to be very cathartic! My part of the story has to take a back seat! I didn’t go through what our son did. He will continue to grow and adapt and process it as life unfolds. As for me, I will have to continually allow myself forgiveness and grace for how it all happened.

My dear friend, Tracy has decided to share through writing too. She was encouraged by her son that she just lost in December. He had encouraged her for a long time to share her writing! I do believe there is no better person to relate to, than someone who has or is experiencing similarities!!

As spring break nears, which is the one year mark of learning the news of our son’s sexual abuse that took place several years prior… I find myself feeling extremely emotional. I must say that talking to your kids is the single most important thing. I shied away from any topics about anything sexual. My own mom constantly was asking if anyone had touched us, etc. It made me extremely uncomfortable. It’s necessary and okay to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids, in fact, it’s our job to protect and guide them!

I definitely relate to the fear of losing a sibling or child to addiction or mental health. These topics hit very close to home! We are working towards breaking some very difficult cycles in our family! Especially the hardships of addiction. My husband, John and I are so proud to be just over two years sober!! The clarity, relationship improvements, and example to our adult children has impacted them and will continue to~ in the best ways possible.

I must give it up to the good Lord! He continually heals my heart, gives me strength and pushes me to be the best version of myself! We can still love people that hurt us. It’s okay to take breaks, have boundaries and for me- it is a priority to work with professionals.. talk therapy has been life changing. Some may think it’s silly. I will tell you, when you share something with another individual that you have no emotional ties to.. you hear yourself very differently! You suddenly key in on what needs to be handled in your life!!

I feel I have been put on this planet to make others feel better, be relatable and inspire through sharing.. even the hard parts! I will never take a day that’s gifted to me for granted!

I am here to face adversity with a kind heart. After all, I would never want to be the reason someone hurts. I also don’t want others to hurt in ways I have. The best part of stories like this one, is that it forever changes how you view little inconveniences of everyday life ..when you’ve went through some really hard shit! Honestly, can you think of the most difficult times in your life and not help but realize you are stronger for having gone through it?!

Get up, Put your best foot forward, do your best and forget the rest! And for goodness sakes, appreciate all that’s put in front of you! You are learning, gaining wisdom and growing! You are better for having overcoming the adversities in your life!

Don’t forget to allow time for what makes your heart pitter-patter.. like cuddles with your doggie! I must also give a shout-out to my husband of twenty-one years, Johnny~ you are one of the best parts of the story! Can’t imagine anything different… THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

Stay Rosy, Amber

#HalfwayToAnywhereYouPutYourMindTo #Halfwaythere