“A smart man learns from his mistakes.. a wise man learns from others!”.. my husband shared this quote with me this morning. Oh, how this is so true! I also looked up other quotes on wisdom and I loved this one- “turn your wounds into wisdom!”

For the past year and a half I have met with my dear friend, Bernie once a week. Bernie is a friend I never expected to have. He has taught me a lot! His late wife, Mary was one of the most impressionable people I’ve ever met! She was the cutest lil’ gal that came into our salon in need of a haircut~ she had a coupon to somewhere else.. I decided to honor the coupon and give her a haircut. I wholeheartedly looked forward to seeing her any and every time from that day forward!

When she could no longer make it in for haircuts, I went to her. In the seven quick years I knew her, she gifted more me than I can explain. She showed me love in ways I had never received before! She shared her wisdom, gave me so many gifts from the heart.. including kitchen gadgets, crafting and art supplies, jewelry~ even my first diamond tennis bracelet! After she passed I was gifted so much more.. her gliding rocking chair, the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on (it was fairly new.. she clearly figured out the best quality bed because she struggled with chronic pain!) Above all, I learned that parenting is the hardest thing we’ll ever do. She had a son and a daughter. She lost her son to suicide when he was a teenager and she was estranged from her daughter who struggles with mental health. Mary had faith bigger than herself. It clearly kept her going.. even in the worst of times! She was the most radiant, funny, sweet and kind person I’ve ever known! I am forever blessed to have known her!

In the final moments of her life while she was in a nursing home in hospice, I promised her I would look out for her husband, Bernie. At that very moment I didn’t truly realize the commitment from my heart that I was making! I saw her on her last day earth side, which happened to be my forty-first birthday. I knew when we told each other goodbye that day that it would be the last time.💔

As my eyes swell with tears as I write this.. I can’t even describe the wisdom (the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise. “listen to his words of wisdom”) I have gained through knowing Mary .. and now, Bernie!

If you are in a hard spot in life, find someone much older than you and take time to ask questions and listen! I promise you’ll learn things you never knew before!

At this point in life I know in my heart Bernie finds himself often feeling lonely. I do believe he looks forward to our Wednesday visits. When I first started going to visit him, I found myself missing Mary terribly and questioning what I got myself into. Soon I realized that I was going to get to know Mary even more- through Bernie. I never had interacted with him much. He is calm, soft-hearted.. I don’t think he always was😚, he is also one of the most faith-filled people I know. We find ourselves going over bible verses, talking about whatever is going on in his life and it always includes a chat about his cat he named Slick.. who came into his life a few months ago. He’s always been a cat guy. I even bought him a toy cat last Christmas. I wanted to bring him a rescue cat and decided that might not be a good idea. I have continued to pray for Bernie to not feel lonely. One day I showed up and he introduced me to a black cat he called Slick.. the kitty cat had just started hanging around. Next thing you know Slick has a pet door and Bernie has figured out his favorite food! I would have to say, my prayers were answered!🐈‍⬛

The wounds that I know Bernie has from experiences (he must wish would have played out differently) are beyond measure. His eyes often get teary and his voice changes when he speaks of these things.. like his three sons. He’s only seen two of them a couple times since I’ve known him. Bernie and Mary’s kids were raised before they met each other. From what I get he was a workaholic.. doing his best to provide for his family. Also, at some point trying to mend his own broken heart because his first wife/the boys’ mom had had an affair.

As I think about these things I know that the good Lord puts us in people’s lives for a reason. I know in my heart that even when I’ve questioned my friendships and relationships, I have never stopped believing that there is a deeper purpose and meaning.

Initially.. I just wanted to be carefree and not hurt for others hurt. I now know that I can hurt and have joy at the same time. I can experience pain and happiness simultaneously.

I truly have had to work inwardly to make the realization that I am highly sensitive and process things different than a majority of people. I have decided being a tortured soul is not gonna be me. I am not a victim! I am going to learn from my experience and others too!

I can feel a shift starting to take place. My willpower and confidence is rising through experiences. Writing has become the most cathartic thing I can do! Sharing my experiences and doing my damndest to see the light in all things.

If you made it to the end of this post.. I encourage you to find time for an elder, you’re bound to learn and gain some wisdom!

Stay Rosy, Amber 🤍🤟

#Halfwaythere #HalfwayToAnywhereYouPutYourMindTo